I am feeling rather morose today, and so JT and Mr. Burli can do the evening routine without me. Even though I want to treasure my son for the unique being that he is, I just can't shake today's feeling of disappointment. Why does he have to be so frustrating sometimes? Why can't he be a little normal? There is nothing "wrong" with him - he is simply strong-willed and possibly a little socially immature. It frustrates me to no end that he refuses to ride in a car with anyone else besides us, that he refuses to get his haircut, that I have to dread his doctor's appointment and x-ray (since last time I had to have help to hold him down for the x-ray and now he is quite strong) as well as the dentist visit, that he won't go into the childcare at the Y (and boy, does it make me jealous to see all the other moms dropping off their kids there with no problems), that he insists on picking his lip (this started in December) constantly, and that he won't even try new foods and will not eat anything besides the approved 8 or so things. Where did I go wrong?
I try not to dwell on these things and work on being patient and not yelling, but sometimes it is difficult. In my bookclub we read Buddhism for Mothers, so maybe I should look that over again to see how to focus more on my responses. The bookclub, by the way, is interesting. I have never done something like this (besides academic reading groups, which are something quite different), and the group of women is ... diverse? different? I have enjoyed getting to know the women a little better, but I can never figure out what to say and so I have a feeling that they don't know me at all. Oh well.
Maybe this funk I am in has to do with the fact that I can now only sleep on my sides, which is one unpleasant side effect of pregnancy, along with heartburn and weight gain. Surely it didn't help that I had to eat a whole bag of Pirate's Booty today and a whole bag of fake Pirate's Booty on Wednesday. Maybe this alien in my belly, or "Bitty" as JT has decided we should name his brother, just needs the extra calories.
(It didn't help that I ran into the mom of a little girl from JT's preschool who has a 6 week old baby and she is tiny and her stomach is not post-partum bloated AT ALL. Oh, I only gained 20 pounds she said, and he was nearly 10 pounds at birth. If I were in a better mood, I would simply wonder about the many varieties that the human body comes in.)
(It didn't help that I ran into the mom of a little girl from JT's preschool who has a 6 week old baby and she is tiny and her stomach is not post-partum bloated AT ALL. Oh, I only gained 20 pounds she said, and he was nearly 10 pounds at birth. If I were in a better mood, I would simply wonder about the many varieties that the human body comes in.)
In any case, we have passed 20 weeks, so maybe this baby-thing is going to happen after all. JT claims he won't be able to do anything with the baby until he is 2. Apparently he thinks that 2 is the magic age when kids suddenly become interesting...
Belly shot 20 weeks with Baby Bitty...
Belly shot 20 weeks with JT. And what a tan I had!
7 comments:
You are looking good, bitty and all!
Maybe JT would do better with the "Dr. says" routine of John Rosemond so that another personage carries the onus of authority to be obeyed? There are times when obedience/ conforming is better than free choice and it sounds like you are running into some.
Other times, the happy free spirit that he is brings joy. What will the change agent be, and how do you incorporate both styles?
Whatever, I am sure that he couldn't have a mother who tries harder so...Be Kind To Yourself!
Love you, momsie
looking at your pictures, i just remembered the lady in the coffeehaus saying that JT must be a boy b/c you were carrying high. i had such a good time visiting you guys that long weekend. what names are in the hat for "bitty"?
don't despair...he's a great kid and you're a wonderful, creative mom (from what i can tell and from watching you with him). i'm sure you'll find a way to help him comply. maybe it's the extra hormones making you a little crazy. i was really crazy while i was pregnant with my last one.
on the bright side, at least we don't have to shovel snow!
--2nd cuz Keren
Sorry, I'm a bit behind on the blogs. But I just read your post on mine about the Declaration and then a snippet about Thomas Paine on yours. Interesting that we're at the same point (I finally got new students!). However, I'm betting that your students are a bit more responsive and their answers are a bit more in depth when asked about social contracts/unalienable rights/role of government in shaping and guiding society, etc. So hopefully that's a bright spot in your day!
You look good! Baby Bitty looks a little smaller than JT, or is that my imagination? I forget how big JT was when he was born.
You know, JT sounds pretty "normal" for a 4 year old. Try not to be so hard on yourself. What are the 8 approved foods? Sounds like a good post!
((((Chris))))
Maybe he and Jack are twins. I could have written nearly the same post myself many, many times over.
I know many folks frown on this book, but have you read love and logic? I have to say that a lot of their little "techniques" were effective with Jack for awhile. (Then he just became, well, a smart ass, and decided he liked the negative consequence just as much as the positive one, lol.)
The only other thing I have to offer is time. With time things with Jack do change. (A long time though, not a month or two.)
Dear Chris,
you seem to be a great Mum and you sure are a great anthroplogist and a lovely person to be around. I am so much struggling with our 17 months old - it seems as if Julian has grown up to be a fine little boy who is full of laughter and creativity. I am so happy for you that everything has wrked out with the pregnancy. I am keeping my fingers crossed for a gentle birth around May. I am a gemini so who knows... little one may be one as well Lov Julia
Post a Comment